Do's and Don'ts of Writing Romance Scenes
Let's face it, there are very few books in adult genres out there that get away with lacking some kind of steamy romance scene. Even Twilight had the couple in the throes of passion by the end of the series. With this new standard, I know there must be at least a few of you out there reeling and wondering how in the world to write these scenes realistically and directly for your audience. I'll be honest, I am not actually a fan of writing these parts in a book, especially when I have to do it for characters that someone else created. It is something I have had to adapt to and learn from, though, and I have now written hundreds of these scenes for various genres with little to no complaint from publishers and editors.
Knowing How Far To Go
The first thing you need to know as the writer in this situation is who your audience is. If it is primarily women or a younger audience, chances are you will have to be much more careful with your terminology and how graphic it becomes. However, if you are writing in a specific fetish or erotica, there is room to get down and dirty within reason. The next thing you need to know is how long your book is gong to be. A rule of thumb would be that if it is less than 20,000 words, one fully described scene is enough for the whole book, even if it is implied that the couple has intercourse many times. And if you do have more than one scene, find a way to make them different or the reader will surely be bored considering the audience tends to live vicariously through the characters. You could even start out with a steamy scene that doesn't reach its completion.
Absolute Don'ts
Do NOT use vulgar or offensive terms for body parts
Don't include bestiality in any way, even if your characters can shape shift into animals
Unless writing in a specific fetish genre, do not have anything forced and non-consensual or violent
Do not try to incorporate dirty talk - it comes out unrealistic and cheesy in written form
Try not to have virginal characters, they are hard to describe realistically
Do not write about a poor experience in the bedroom unless it is for humor purposes
Do not always make it happen in a bed
The Best Romance Scene Do's
Do have strong, alpha male leads pleasing their women
Do get inside the main characters' heads during the scene
Do go from beginning to end at least once in the book
Do make the experience different for lust vs. love
Do use sensual and steamy terms
Do allow characters to be bold and try new things within reason
